Merry Christmas!!!!!!

This is Wishing all of you a MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE. its good to know i belong to blogville even as inconsistent as i have been........ its been about a year since i started blogging and i want to believe i have made a few new friends. thank you all for your support, and care all through. love y'all lots.

Love.

How do you say you love someone but every now and again you are with someone else? Why do you want to have your cake and eat it?

An elder cousin told me, When you love someone you just have to love every part of the person including the good, bad and the ugly. Don't get jealous (easier said than done), and when you do, try to control your words and actions so you don't say things you would regret.

Let him do whatever makes him happy, because what you feel for him is not selfish. Don't ever disturb yourself about him cheating, just play your part exceptionally well by not getting even, jealous or angry. Instead give him more love. Don't only think of his weaknesses but think of all the beautiful times you both have spent together, the laughter with him rather than the pains.

Nobody owns another person. A womans' body is just food to men and we all know they like to eat varieties? (do we?). Enjoy life thinking of what you can do to make yourself and your loved ones happy and stop worrying (easier said than done).

Pretend as if you don't know what is going on or what he's doing, that way he stays with you as Men don't like women who gives them troubles. Instead love him more no matter what. Love is kind, selfless, faithful which doesn't make you a fool but smarter than him actually.

And she ends it by saying "You have to love without expecting nothing, that is the only way you get everything".

do we agree with this?

Question!

hello everybody, its been quite a while, well what can i say really? only that i am LOOKING UNTO GOD for answers cos He's the only one who can give them.

please i'd like all your Honest opinion about this question i want to ask, and if you can expantiate i'd trully appreciate it.


Question.

if as a child you have always had a family friend who is a pastor, to whom you have always run to for help (prayer points & prayers in general) who normally just prays for the family, who also calls when he sees things to warn you about them.

you have been having issues with your man, and when your pastor family friend asks you........You say well we r having issues or going through a bad time and he tells you don't worry, we'll pray about it, or read this prayer point or fast and pray for so so so days.

and then one day in a blind fit of rage, you send the the name of a girl you suspect he has something to do with, to the pastor, and then almost immediately you have a change of heart because it doesn't seem right, and you call him (the pastor) back , apologising for the text sent and tell him to disregard it and let nature take its course, and you promptly forget all about that and continue with life only for you guy to go through your phone one day and see the text you sent to the pastor that faithful day. Now, obviously on reading the text his mind goes into OVERDRIVE and now he wants ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU COS HE THINKS YOU ARE DIABOLICAL?

the question now is, are his anger and accusations justified?


i don't know if i explained all this very well but i believe i gave as much details as i could. lets not be judges here people but give our honest opinions.


thank you all.

the journey forward.

it isnt going to be easy, even i know dat.i pray that God will give me the strenght to see this thru.....

it hurts.......

well so am back on my own again, not happy about it but waht can i do? i don't think i was cut out for relationships becos it never works out in my favour istead it takes too much out of me.its hurting badly,i ve cied and cried and cried,didnt know i could cry so much?????? is it worth it?

my self esteem is so low, i don't even know where to start from.i feel dejected. actually toying with the idea of going to the other side and have even been prepositioned but how am i sure it wont be worse? and to think that i have a lot of love to give......all i want is to be taken care of,to be needed,appreciated, to be loved with a lot of patience becos i know i need to be handled with care? is dat too much to ask for? sure i'll have my flaws and make some silly mistakes but that doesnt mean i shuld be given up on and be left as "NO HOPE". hmmmmmm some people will say i shuld move on, and its not like i dont kow but its how?


evrytime the phone rings i expect it to be his call, evrytime a dark car goes by,i expect it to be his. i see sometin n i think of him, i want to do something and i can hear what he'll say.an sms comes in n i dash for it expecting it to be from him. m horny n i just want him,him and noone else. i feel very low wit myself and i want to be cuddled by Him.


sure i made a mistake but shuld i be given up on? it hurts sooo bad.u'd have thot that after all the crying i have done i'd stop by now but alas, dats not the case. it hurts so bad.how do i start afresh? where do i start from? who do i tell all my secets to? cant imagine some else touching me rite now. how do you win back a love u once had and have lost? especially if the person is fast building a wall u dont think u can penetrate?


whe i started blogging,i didnt think all my posts wil be this sad,but was going thru them today n its all so SAD. when was the last time i really let go and fun with someone i love. wat is this thing called LOVE anyway? i do so love him,with all his flaws,hes niceness, his love. EVERYTHING.
it hurts so bad.

i wish.

I wish.



I wish my dad didn't have to die and leave me all alone in this world.

I wish my good friend didn't have to die on me.

I wish i am able to tell people close to me how i really feel.

I wish i am able to express my thots clearly into words.

I wish i am able to trust people more, but how do i know who is who?

I wish i had more girlfriends, but then again do i really want them?

I wish my mom really noticed how i feel about certain things and people.

I wish i wasn't so insecure.

I wish i wasn't so emotionally unstable.

I wish i had those instincts that warn you when things aren't going well.

I wish i could have trusted my instincts more.

I wish i wasn't so stuborn atimes.

I wish i was alot stronger.

I wish i had alot of faith in my own abilities.

I wish i have the drive to go on.

I wish i had someone to talk to, to really confide in.

I wish i were closer to God.

I wish love didn't have to hurt so much.

I wish i had realised that he was the real thing when he walked pass me.

I wish i had put 100% into the relationship.

I wish i hadn't cheated on him.

I wish he could have forgiven me.

I wish he could have given me a chance to earn his love & trust again.

I wish that he didn't have to leave me.

I wish i have the strenght to carry on.

I wish he understood me better.

I wish he was willing to give me a last chance to prove myself.

I wish life was a bit easier.

I wish i didn't feel so lonely.

I wish it wasn't too late.

But it looks liks it is..........



i wish..

rantings.

hey m back briefly,

sorry i have not been blogging regularly but i had to travel for a while. tried getting myself together and i actually believed all was well until i got back and faced it,then i knew i had only run away but the problem hasn't disappeared. can't say too much but will definitely blog about it at some later date.


hope all u guys are alright and doing well.


gotta run see you soon i pray.

i have a problem....an issue.......i think plenty issuesssssss

first of all........i have a very NASTY temper: i do try, really i do, to control this temper of mine but it seems like the more effort i put into it, the more it wants to show its ugly self. its so bad that at the point when it actually explodes, i don't think about the repercussions of my words or action i just do or say whatever comes to mind. almost like my whole body and Being has been taken over by some force. most times i try to hold back, by taking whatever insults or stupid side talks or just generally avoiding issues that lead to it, and it works but other times its very sudden.

another thing about my temper is, once i am upset with someone about something and i don't lash out at you immediately or confront you, it starts eating up at me and i can be very creative about what i want to do to you or tell you whenever i see you. so much so that it actually scares me at what my mind conjures up.


secondly.........i am too nice. so nice that i put other people before and get taken for granted time and again but have i learnt my lesson? NO. well a bit. which still doesn't change the fact that i am nice. sometimes they make me feel like being nice to someone is a sin or a crime and i think its too late to now change my character......but am prepared to learn.(any ideas somebody?)


thirdly..........as my colleague says i am overly friendly, that i can be frieinds with the goat and chickens that roam the streets.e gba mi oooooo.can a person have so many faults? if i smile, the smile is too wide. if i laugh,the sound is too loud. even to just stare is soul searching?

and to make matters worse are those people who think because you are smiling, gives them an avenue to start Toasting u and becoming a Nuisance. so that when i complain to Uncle, he says its because i don't have that professional attitude(the one that says look but don't touch). have you known 9ja men not to try their lucks before? i mean i am friendly but do they have to take it as a come-on signal? i mean, come on now (borrowed that from Uncle he uses it like all the time) can't a girl be friendly to a customer without him trying to get her phone number under one pretext or the other and when he does, later call her to ask me out without bothering to know if i'm going to get in trouble with my man or not. because some guys don't use their head at all and can call at midnight with flimsy excuses.


fourthly..........i am toooooooooo trusting. its now i know that it's not everything you are told that you should believe. i don't see why i'd ask u a question and you feel you have to lie about the answer, because the way i see it, i don't feed u, or pay for your education, or whatever. so why the need to LIE? once you tell me something, i take your word as gospel and move on. this occurs mostly with my female friends and for that reason i keep just a few of them. so that at the end of the day, two of them can't say the same thing about me, which i feel is wrong, and it sometimes makes me feel like i have double personality. if you were lying to collect money or things from me i swear i'd understand but to lie to a friend? what then is the BASIS of friendship i ask?



and then i HATE to wait..........i don't have the patience to, even when i do wait for hours i am a tornado about to happen. bad i know, especially when i keep people waiting. because for one reason or the other unknown to me, i am Never on time.in as much as i trully try to be.i know its selfish and more than a bit self-centered but what can i do?

so here are somethings you should know about me, i'd like to hear your opinions and advices please .i need to deal with these issues. i know what they say about it being too late to change the spots on the body of a leopard but i really need damage control on the issue of my temper before it drives away the people i love from my life.


feel free to send me emails as well. teecity1@gmail.com. forgive my rantings but they are giving me cause to worry.
laters

Valentine!!!!!!

so the day came as any other day,got to work early ,was in a mood so i didnt talk to anybody just kept on listening to music and singing out loud maybe subconciously waiting for the scape goat who'll ask me why i was makin so much noise giving me reasons to unleash myself cos believe it or not i was spoiling for a fight.everybody noticed this and just let me be.which fueled the anger more.so there i was moody as hell when i noticed a car with its lights blinking.guess who? Uncle.my mood disappeared just like dat.so i catwalk to his car, get in and i begin to understand why i love him so.

just like that my mood disappears,we get talking and he asks me why i havent called him all morning,and i asked him why he hadnt called me? he said he noticed my mood the night before,and he wasnt going to give me the figtht i seemed to crave for.i laughed and told him about my morning.a friend came around, we all chatted for a while but i had to go back in.but at least my mood had been lifted.

not quiet 30mins later was looking out the window again when i noticed my sweethearts' car driving in,worried i rushed outside to find out wat the problem was and behold my valentine gifts were being delivered to me by his younger brother.....anybody who says i wasnt feeling very loved at that moment would have been telling a big Lie.i picked up the phone to call him,i didnt let it slip that i had received his gifts but kept the conversation neutral.it was when i was about to hang up that i said ehen, by the way i have seen your gifts.i couldnt help showing all of my 32teeth while speaking on the phone.even my dear colleague valed me by buying me lunch.u wan try me.lol

the day went by slowly,got a cake at the office.it was generally an ok day but for the traffic.i closed from work,went to Uncles office {spent like an hour just gettin there}.then we set off.we were supposed to go out but we spent like another 3hrs getting from ikoyi to victoria island that at the end of it we were both tired and hungry.so we went home to relax.

but na wah oh, lagosian or is it nigerians carry valentine for head like govt work.evn more than xmas.the traffic on the island wasnt childs play at all.it got so bad that some people kukuma did their val in heir cars because the traffic was at a stand still.
m very sure that the people heading for the mainland havd never seen the 3rd mainland bridge so free since the beginning of the year.thats how girls went about wearing RED.didnt know valentine had colour {but then again i am quite stale}.

till later yeah.

i want to HONESTLY tell the truth.

i stole this from kpakpandos blog,so here goes



1.Honestly, are you in love right now?
yes, m afraid so.

2.Honestly, what colour is your underwear?
hmmm.....baby pink.

3.Honestly, what is on your mind right now?
how i am going to work things out for the best with Uncle.

4.Honestly, what are you doing right now?
...supposed to be working but browsing blogs and answering these questions.{lol}

5.Honestly, what did you do today?
still at work arent i?

6.Honestly, do you think you are attractive?
yes i do & very at that {even if i say so myself}

7.Honestly, have you done something bad today?
not that i know about,y do u ask?

8.Honestly, do you watch disney channel?
disney WHAT?

9.Honestly, what makes you happy?
being with my family ,Uncle, my friends.oops don't forget reading my novels.

10.Honestly ,do you bite your nails?
atimes but right now,did those acrylic thingy that makes me feel useless.[things we do in the name of beauty?]

11.Honestly, what is your mood right now?
hopeful.

12.Honestly, do you have a deep dark secret?
don't know about it being deep & dark but its still a secret abi?

13.Honestly, who do you want to see at this vey moment?
uncle.

14.Honestly, does your wrist hurt?
yes it does.

15.Honestly, do you hate someone right now?
yes & no.

16.Honestly, who/what do you want to hug right now?
my baby boooo.

17.Honestly, are you in denial?
i think so.

18.Honestly, wouldn't u rather be having sex right now?
yes, with all the works.

19.Honestly, does anyone like you?
oh, they had just better.

20.Honestly, is it easier to talk on blogger than in person?
yes it is

21.Honestly, is it going anywhere with them?
nope, so i had better let go.

22.Honestly, did u answer all these questions honestly?
i'd like to believe i did. cos i did.


one quick question,this love of a thing,wats it all about? cos, it feels like me & my emotions r in for some hard core roller coaster ride n baby m i hanging on for my dear life.




neways pple i will definitely give u wateva gist there is to give about valentine.trust me to have something up my sleeve.till then Happy Valentine............

random thots

things are gettin better between us n i pray it lasts for a while,every now n then it seems like it'll all come to an end but we r both makin major efforts to be happy.its not like we dont love each other but i think it has to do wit trust.do we trust each other enuff.hmmmmmm.i had to travell for some days but m back.work here i come.
how ve u all been.valentine is coming n well m looking forward t it.till then laters

how it all started.

hello pple,m sorry i have been MIA for a while.alot of things have been happening,don't know where to start from but hmmmmmm lets see

Uncle came back from london and it was supposed to be alrite n lovey dovey yes?NO.it has been one problem or the other,one fight or another,in short it all started out as a bad hair day n went downhill from there,UNDERSTATEMENT.i cant exactly come out and say this is wat happened or this is wat triggerd it,if it not a fight,its an arguement.if its not an arguement,its a quarrel.even wen we try to tiptoe around each other,it manages to still end up as a DISASTER.

so i started thinking deep within me, tryin to fish out the source of all these unnecessary quarrels,n my God are they unnecessary most times...........

about some three months ago,when our relationship was still fairly new and our love for each other was still strong,normally i stay over at his place for the weekend,to go back home on sunday.so this faaithful monday,a friend of mine(lets call her Rica) calls me up at work,dat she had a misunderstanding with her family and would like to just leave home for a while,n since she didnt have too many friends culd she come over to my office,n she was in tears while talkin to me so i said sure no problem.i was concerned cos i kept on wondering wat possibly could have happened n so i waited for her to get to me.oh when she came in really there was nothing to ask just looking at her,so i let her cry cos she was already in tears on her way in.n she cried n cried n cried,she was cryiing so bad that i had to give some kind of explanation to my colleagues at work.the long and short of it is dat,she had a fight with her younger sister,whom the rest of the family supported.

so she left home in orde to teach them a lesson n not havin where to go,she asked to stay at mines .being the good friend i am,i said sure.never realising i was about to make the worse mistake of my lifewas so busy dat week i almost forgot about going to Uncles house until thursday,so i called him up to tell him i was comin over as usual but not alone.i filled him in on Ricas' story.prior to dat i had mentioned dat i had a friend stayin over at my place so they got talkin via my phone.n becos i was so in love, all i culd talk about was Uncle dis,Uncle dat.He did dis for me,He did dat to me(digging my grave unknowingly).friday came,i went to work,the plan was dat Rica will come in the evening when i was about to close up and from there we'll go over to Uncles place as i wasnt goin to leave her at home all weekend n neither was i going to miss the opportunity of being with my man.so we set off to Uncles place.........................



lets go back a while before dat day.did i mention dat my Uncle is married? well he is n before u call me a husband snatcher n crucify me.lemme give u an insight of how we met.
me at work n uncle comes in to get something,this conversation takes place
uncle:hello,good aftrnoon wuld like to buy some things culd u pls show me wat u ve got?
teebizzy:goodafternoon sir,we ve ........
(n then we finalize d sales)
uncle:thank u
teebizzy:u r welcome

fastforward a little
2wks later

teebizzy:wat happened to ur arm? n r u meant to be driving?(dats me being the mother hen)
uncle walks in in a hand brace
uncle:i had an accident in america
teebizzy:aw sorry,pele,but dat doesnt answer my question.r u meant to b driving?
uncle:welllllll no
teebizzy:then y r u?u dont feel sorry for urself abi......................
n i go on n on n on,meanwhile he is twice my size.lol
so i send him home to go rest his arm cos it was obvious he was in pain.then we xcahnge numbers and email addresses so i culd check up on him.

TO BE CONTINUED........................

My Best Friend.

he went away,
i still remember it like yesterday, when i woke up real early cos i had a party to attend.and me, being the person i am,once i can't come up with something to wear in my head,then getting an outfit can be a days' battle.so i got up early and started ransacking my wardrobe tryin to match up outfits, there i was when my lil bro(lets call him jnr)came in to tell me that our pumping machine had packed up,damn,dat meant having to go fetch water from our neighbours house opposite.double damn cos that was d venue of the party.oh of all things to happen?but we had no choice,momsie was waiting n i still vent come up wit an outfit.so off we went to fetch water.met up wit my friends,Taiwo,Kehinde & Idowu(porpularly known as aro meta,cos tho they were sisters,they always walked together like all the time.n the celebrant was actually Idowu).fetching water actually became fun as we were alot,n there was much to gist n gossip about..thru wit my chores for the day,i went back to searching for wat to wear n i had heard from Kehinde,dat Idowu was going to wear a really short outfit.trust me not to be outdone(excuse my french) by anyone including the celebrant,i finally decided on a short brown spaghetti dress n platforms,dis was like 8yrs ago,was so excited i culdnt keep still.so off to gist and gossip wit Him.now hes my best friend in d whole wide world,whos is always there for me.
fianally went for the party,had a great time,ate,ate,n ate some more.then i got back home in d evening to give my bestfriend updated gist(lol).then went to my room to change,whilst changin i heard commotion outside n i ran to c wat culd ve append,my bestfriend was coughing up blood,everyone was crying n talkin at d same time.i was dumbfounded cos i culdnt imagine wat culd ve appened btw d time i left him to go change,then he was rushed to d hospital,n i became scared so scared i culdnt go to the hospital instead i stayed at home and cried.the next morning i went to see my friend jumi n told her to escort me to the hospital.i also told her dat i was scared cos i believed dat my bestfriend was going to die,she asked me why i thot so,n i told her i just knew(it was a gut feeling dat i had,n its never wrong).so together we went to the hospital only to be told that he had been transferred to another one.i was gettin anxious now.we rushed to the other hospital dis time we were told dat we culdnt see him cos he was with the doctor(a cold feeling went through my body)n i started crying and wouldnt stop.Jumi took me home n tried to console me but i was inconsolable till i fell asleep.
the next day i was determined to be allowed to see him whether i was permitted to or not.i wasnt going to leave the hospital witout seeing for myself that he was alrite.so i got dressed, tidied up the house n was about to leave when i saw a car fully of people drive in.i wasnt ready to be sociable,so i locked up n waited by the gate,firstly to see who they were n wat their mission was,n secondly,to inform them i was leavin the house(rude tho it might seem but i couldnt be bothered with small talk).then out of the car came my mum,followed by some aunties like this i hadnt seen in a while,then some other women.i went striaght to my mum to ask her how my bestfriend was and she said he was fine ,dat he had again been transferred to another hospital,good right?but why where they crying? then it hit me right between my eyes oh i cried,i cried like it was goin out of fashion,i cried like i had never before in my whole life,i cried for the stories i wuldnt be able to tell him,i cried for the advice he wont be able to give me,i cried for the shoulder i knew i could always lean on,i cried for all the things i had planned to do to make him proud of me as i was of him,i cried for my mother,i cried for my brothers and sister,especially my sister,becos she wasnt going to know this great man who fathered her,she wasnt going to know wat i did about this great man,i cried for my unborn children who wouldnt get to know the wonderful person their grandfather was,i cried because trully i didnt want to live again, my bestfriend whom has been there with me right from birth,
my bestfriend who heard me say my first words,
my bestfriend who watched me take my first steps,
my bestfriend who was the first male presence i ever knew in my life,
my bestfriend whom i told evrything to,
my bestfriend whom i could laugh with,
my bestfriend who protected me from the cane of my mom,
my bestfriend who was my knight in shining armour,
my bestfriend whom i adored,
my bestfriend was gone
gone for good and never to return.
i miss u daddy
after all these years it still hurts.
REST IN PEACE

Happy New Year

hello people,happy new year to u all.i hope u all had a wonderfull hols? well mine was ok..........hmmmmmm,i worked untill the 24th which i thot was unfair but wat culd i do about it?NOTHING.after work on d 24th i hung out wit my Uncle(now my uncle is my boyfriend,dont get me wrong we r nowhere near related except may b in future,but dats wat m gonna call him.)went last minute shoppin then went back to his place as i was goin to spend my xmas wit him.it was fun but for the traffic but we made it back home on time.just generally stayed in-doors all nite n most of christmas morning,but had to go see his parents n mine l8r on.its only right (dont u think?).
my friends from yankee where around n i had lots of fun just hanging out wit them.my uncle travelled so my holiday wasnt xactly complete but i did try to have fun.attended weddings here n there,even started avoiding all this well meaning relations who help calculate your age,by askin ehen,when is your own wedding coming up?or where is your husband? or is that your boyfriend? some are not so subtle wit their hints n they go like(how old are you now,all your mates are gettin married,wat are you waiting for?)lol.who told them that after a girl is through wit her university education marriage comes next?so now no more family functions for me,or if i do go then i'll avoid all those aunties who mean well.
my ass is gettin out of hand,any one wit suggestions on how to reduce your bum shuld pls tell me.its becomin eembarrassing.
i miss my uncle.really i do.but nowadays all we do is argue over mundane stupid issue that arent wat fighting about.i want to believe dat its because i'm missing him so much.i want us to go some place together just the two of us without all the hussle and bussle of work or people we know,to just be by ourselves for awhile.
did u guys see all that traffic over the holiday?mehn it was crazy,i thot as it was xmas n all the roads will be freebut boi,was i mistaken.nobody travelled n more pple came in.lots of shows n parties n all dat stuff to keep one occupied.i guess it was all fun.eko was bubbling.i really enjoyed myself even though i wished it could ve been longer.so now its back to work for me n surprisingly enuff its been quite busy this past one week.especailly in january.its all good.it means more bonus for me i hope.lol.
anyway i gotta run.for now my posts have been raandom but will get more personal as time goes on.u'll ve to bear with me cos i am a little bit scatter brained but wellllll we'll see.
later